12.29.2004

yup

will be back sunday night. dev flies in today, around now i think...- havent talked to him since last monday, wrote him one text and thats it.

im really getting used to the whole not talkign to him thing and i think its for the best...the most awk thing is going ot be that there are xmas presents from me to him and from him to me under our tree...urgh...what a horrible time of year for all this to happen. i think when i get back, ill have him come over, we can open gifts (cause what are we going to do with them otherwise??) have dinner and talk...and end it... :-/ although i know he is going to respond to all this saying we can both try harder and make it work but i think im just going to be a brat about it and say what i really feel - i dont want to change - i dont want to make the clock in my head disappear, i dont want to not plan things in advance with the people that matter to me, i dont want to not focus on studying cause he cant handle it...so im not in a state to be in a relationship like this one...

anyway im glad im leaving today :) otherwise id have to face all this now, and avoiding it for a bit longer is def a better option for me now...

cant you get a copy of your key made?